Birth, Death and the Dull Bit in Between (part 1)

Hmm, blogging. If this is being put up on my own blog, does that make me a blogger? Can I put that on my CV now? Just under my qualifications: Blogger. Enough with inane babble, let's get on to the reason why you're reason this: my opinions on stuffs.

So, recently one of my best friends. OK, one of my friends... Fine, someone I know got themselves engaged. Congratulations to him BUT this got me a-pondering and these ponderons seemed like a good topic to base my first post upon.

So we start with something I haven't experienced but almost everyone else has. You ask anyone if they've experienced this, there's a huge that they'll say yes. What am I talking about? Why being born of course.

No no. I wasn't created in a lab, or grown on a tree. But I was, and I love this quote, “From my Mother's womb untimely ripped.” Makes it sound like I was completely against the whole thing. Which I probably was, begging for another few days.

Of course being born is perfectly normal and, with all the help available these days, quite easy. Especially compared with the early days when a woman would enter a cave, squat for a few minutes and come out with a baby. How did they cope with this miracle of life in such primitive times?

At which point I shall enter a scoffing sound and jokingly repeat the word 'miracle'. Can it still be described as a miracle if it happens so often? Every species of mammalia (of which there are about 5 and a half thousand) gives birth. So if each species gives birth, let's say, 350,000 times a day. If the underlying figures are right (thank you google) that makes more than 1,225,000,000 births A DAY.

Shall I break that down further? That's more than 50,000,000 an hour. Or 4,500,000 a minute. Not so miraculous now is it?

Of course the real question is when these parasites become separate living creatures. Are you alive the moment dad came? The first time your ickle heart beats? Or when your brain starts firing? I personally think it's the latter which is probably very hard to detect, so just try and prove me wrong.

So that's birth, at which point it goes down hill until you die. Both topics I shall be covering in the future, but for now I'll leave it there. None of it makes sense, it went slightly in a strange direction but screw you.

If you have any opinions on this, please keep them to yourself. If you have any suggestions for topics you want me to ramble about, share them. Those I need.